I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize