About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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