This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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