Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize