there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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