If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
