Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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