so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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