so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
