i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
