yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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