alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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