I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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