Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
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i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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