Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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