i jhust puked up my retainher.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
