I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize