i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize