Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I believe in your delicious
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
