Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
