So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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