Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
