I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
