I wish I could teleport
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
