My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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