omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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