dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
