Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
