escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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