He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I can't put those talents on a resume
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
