The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We left an ass print on the piano.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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