Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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