If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
