what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
