Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
