speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.