And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.