can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
