gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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