But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
