In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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