...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
