margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
