South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
