Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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