please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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