your room smells of hookers.
And success
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
