I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
