allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
