why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
