i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
