i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
