why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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