D3 body, D1 cock
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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