I just cut my nipple shaving
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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