I will die if light touches me.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
