The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
