I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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