I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
