kristin has been a bad kristin
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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