my vag is so smooth its legendary
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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